Bitcoin’s price is dropping faster than the average crypto influencer’s sense of shame after a CoinMarketCap phishing pop-up—reminding us that, in the world of digital gold, the only thing scarcer than a secure portfolio is a trustworthy exchange. Perhaps next time, we’ll store our coins in a cold wallet and our optimism in a Faraday cage. At this rate, even quantum computers are looking at the market and saying, “Pass.”