Oh, look—Bitcoin is down again. But don’t worry, it’s only because the media, boomers, Michael Saylor, and my grandma’s cat all misunderstood its “digital energy” and intrinsic volatility, not because it’s a speculative, unbacked asset that can vaporize my life savings faster than I can explain to my dad that the dollar isn’t backed by gold. At this point, I’m just HODLing my regret and dollar-cost averaging my therapy bills.