Bitcoin’s price is tumbling faster than a trad-wife meme on the front page of r/cryptocurrency—abundant are the tears of both HODLers and those longing for a nuclear family funded by digital gold. While some romanticize stacking sats as a path to retro riches, most of us are left clutching our wallets, debating gender roles, meme culture, and whether AI or the whales are to blame for our ever-shrinking portfolios. If this is “buy the dip” season, at least the emotional baggage is free—and, unlike Bitcoin, always in surplus.